Is Samantha Jones a career hunter or a bachelor? And more importantly, which of the 9 singletons are you? Photo / Getty Images
Living a life without commitment comes with its fair share of perks, and as a seasoned singleton, I’ve discovered that there are 9 key types of singletons that thrive.
Maybe you chase your dreams of Pete Davidson as a serial date, Samantha Jones as the ultimate bachelor, or become a hopeless romantic in Mykonos while listening to the dancing queen – there is no judgment. because how you experience your flirting, single life is entirely up to you.
And yes Pete and Samantha have become my main inspiration for the Dating Diaries, can you blame me? Pete is the 2021 version of the SATC icon.
So grab your Pete and Kim loving friends, stock up on snacks, and find out what kind of singleton you are.
The nine types of singles:
The hopeless romantic
If you are ever away, it’s because you ran away with someone who gave you their full attention for more than three days. No one would even be mad at you because romance is the number one priority in your life and you are not ashamed of it. How do people survive without chasing a romantic comedy life?
People often mistake your feelings for love, but you never let your relationships get so deep, it’s the honeymoon period that really ticks your boxes, that’s why you have a new partner every few. month. For you, it’s about keeping things easy, airy, and fun.
The career hunter
When creating your five year plan you seemed to have forgotten to include “find love” and once your mom pointed it out, you quickly jotted it down at the bottom of your plan, but you weren’t fooling anyone. baby. It’s so low on your priority list that you’ve enlisted the staunch motto “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
There are some things that are beyond your control, love is one of them, but your career isn’t, which is why you are scrambling to try and secure a seat at the table. You don’t have time to cry over a broken heart when trying to get on this Forbes list.
Single is your name, independence is your game. To you, a relationship feels like extremely heavy chains holding you back and even thinking about it gives you hives – that’s why your first and only love is an adventure.
Living life as a free spirit means you barely have a plan for tomorrow, let alone 5 years. You’ll be hunting anything but a long-term lover, so the only way to end up in a relationship is if the person falls on your lap somewhere between riding donkeys in the Himalayas and volunteering to help clean the plastic from the lover. ‘Pacific Ocean.
The serial date
Whether you’re with a friend, a Tinder match, the local cafe barista, or your gym instructor, your dating agenda is full. There is nothing you love more than dating someone you barely know and despite what people may think you are not here for love you just love getting to know people and feel wanted. Is it narcissism? No, it’s called being 30, flirting and thriving, baby.
You still have the best stories to tell like the one time you dated Kim Kardashian and the whole world was torn as they speculated if this was a PR stunt.
It’s not that you don’t believe in love, you’re just a realist and you know that love is the result of chemical reactions in your brain, so naturally this can’t go on forever. That’s what you tell your mom anyway. The real reason you don’t pursue love is because the one time you gave in to your feelings was disaster and you felt like your heart had been ripped out. It took weeks for your eyes to deflate.
If anti-Valentine was a person, it would be you. Everything ends, everyone cheats, dates are a waste of time.
Who solves problems with their charm? You do! You get the best table in the restaurant, exclusive club entry, and basically whatever you want as you make everyone feel like a million bucks. The only thing you can’t seem to get is a date.
Being a flirting legend isn’t all you say you are. Sure you’re lovely, friendly and know all the right things to say (or not to say) and you nailed Samantha Jones’ sexy eyes, but that’s the problem, everyone loves you but not enough to invite you out. Between us, it’s because people think you’re out of their league.
Are you single, are you stuck? You have no idea, the person you spend four nights a week with has no idea and Valentine’s Day is going to be a very difficult day for both of you.
You don’t really want to take that person back to your parents, but you get angry if they don’t respond to your messages. Worse yet, he’s probably an ex you just can’t seem to shake. Your situation is suffocated by undertones of ‘they’ve changed’ and ‘it’s not serious’, but when you’re at the bar watching a cutie downstairs, you can’t help but turn out to be. overwhelmed by guilt. Your whole life is a ball of confusion.
Someone, make this stop.
The Bachelor / Bachelorette
You like the independence of not having a partner, but your overwhelming insecurities mean that you must constantly have someone to stroke your ego.
The most important list in your life isn’t your work list, it’s the one with the details of your sneaky links. You have become so good at baching that you have a whole system based on who you see and when. Monday is your least favorite date, Wednesday is the one you can have a beer with and feel like a mate, Saturday is the one you are too afraid to talk to about a sober but discreet love and Sunday has a potential boy / girlfriend if you ever decide to humiliate, embrace your feelings (ew).
When you say more the merrier, you literally mean it. You are not in a committed relationship, you are in several. You think life is too short to live monogamously, so you don’t.
While some will say that you are afraid of commitment and want to have your cake and eat it too, you just roll your eyes knowing that you are living your best life the only way you know how to be open and honest.
I think that sums it up nicely, nine categories of singles living lives of no drama and no commitment because, as the iconic Samantha Jones said, “This love thing is a ***** mother.”